ItsyBitsyTeenyWeeny
by New Neon
Summary: The boys on Merry are doing the laundry when they come across what is perhaps the smallest piece of underwear ever created. Interesting revelations ensue. Implied Nami/Luffy


It was laundry day for the boys on the Going Merry, they always did their laundry on the same day every week and as mandated by Nami **everyone** helped. Which Zoro thought was incredibly unfair as he ripped and threw away far more shirts than he washed _and_ he pretty much only changed his clothes once a week, and only more if they got ripped. But Nami's word was law, so dutifully the boys all washed their clothes on deck together. Luffy and Usopp scrubbing them, Chopper rinsing and Zoro and Sanji wringing them dry. Everyone complained, Chopper and Usopp complained about the SMELL of Zoro's clothes which Chopper often sent back around to be washed. AGAIN. Sanji would complain about handing wet clothes for so long that it made his precious fingers pruney and Zoro would complain about having to do this mundane chore, how boring it was and also anything that Sanji happened to be doing or not doing.

It took a while in the beginning to decide where to dry the clothes, Usopp refused to have the Merry looking like some cheap laundry ship so washing lines from the mast were out, Nami promptly shot down the mere idea of using her trees to tie washing lines to, and Sanji refused to have his kitchen smell like Zoro and, as he pointed out, did anyone really want to eat in a room lightly fragranced with the air of Zoro's underpants?

So it came to be that the laundry room was below deck in what was a storage room for their treasure, so needless to say it was pretty much always empty and there was ALWAYS room for laundry to dry in there. So when the boys got down there with armfuls of washing they were all surprised to still see the room filled with the girl's clothes. The laundry days were perfectly scheduled so the boy's laundry was done in one half of the week and the girl's another and never the two shall meet. Until now.

After a short argument about whether or not this was indeed their laundry day it fell to Luffy to point out that all the girl's clothes were dry.

"Che, they must have forgotten to take them back. Lazy women." Zoro grunted over the top of the pile of wet clothes in his arms.

"Watch your mouth marimo!" Sanji snapped kicking Zoro in the kidneys. Usopp, Chopper and Luffy ignored the fight going on behind them which Zoro was losing thanks to his arms being occupied and instead tried to work out what to _do_. It was likely that Nami would kill them for touching her clothes, so any other alternative was better. But there was no where else to do laundry. If only they had another line…. Usopp looked sidelong at their rubber captain and his long stretchy arms… a few hours out on deck with the laundry hung up in the sun and they'd be all done.

"I don't wanna be a washing line." Luffy answered flatly before Usopp could even ask.

"Let's just take their stuff down, it's no big deal." Zoro shrugged.

"You just want to get your hands on their underwear you pervert! I'll never let you!" Sanji spat accusingly. Meanwhile Luffy had already dumped his armful of laundry in a basket and was taking down the girl's clothes, Usopp followed and eventually started piling Nami's laundry in Sanji's arms with Zoro getting Robin's stuff.

The boys learned a few useful things that afternoon, the first of all being that Nami didn't actually seem to own any socks, which prompted much teasing of Usopp who it seemed owned too many and wasn't addressed as 'cheesy feet' on laundry day for nothing. The only socks that were there had little robins on them and it was clear to whom they belonged. The second startling revelation came when Usopp discovered something.

"WHOA!" He yelped holding something tiny and pink in his hands and apparently only just having realised what it was. Held up between Usopp's thumbs and forefingers and stretched was perhaps the tiniest piece of material any of them had ever seen, and truth be told it seemed to be more string than fabric. It was tiny and frilly and lacy and, Usopp noticed as he held them up to the light, slightly see-through.

"Put those down! You're impugning Rob- ah… Nam… you're impugning the girl's honour!" Sanji exclaimed.

"What is that?" Chopper blinked curiously as Usopp stretched it and unstretched it almost hypnotically.

"It's underwear Chopper. A thong." Zoro explained with a snicker, Sanji stood still sputtering at the indignity of the whole situation.

"What's the matter love-cook, need me to hold your hand? Seeing as this is your first time seeing one and all." Zoro grinned nastily, Sanji snarled insults back at Zoro.

"How could someone even wear this?" Usopp wondered aloud as he turned the thong over in his hands. It was then of course Zoro had to ask that _damned _question that Sanji considered ruined his life.

"So… whose is it? Robin's or Nami's?" Zoro asked with a grin that was almost a leer. _Whose… is… it…_ the question echoed around the minds the boys stood staring at the thong. Sanji's face turned a glorious shade of red all of a sudden, perhaps from imagining either of the girls in the tiny scrap of material. They stood there transfixed until Luffy's hip bumping Usopp's broke the spell.

"Why am _I_ doing all the work? I'm the captain here." Luffy whined, the boys blinked, somehow Luffy had taken down all the dry washing and with the exception of one article of wet laundry that he was trying to put up where Usopp stood, had put up all of theirs.

"We're… we're just…" Usopp stammered feeling his eyes drawn back to the teeny underwear.

"Sanjiiii, make me food." Luffy whined at the red-faced cook.

"Heh, he's not gonna be making food until we find out whose that is." Zoro said jerking his head in Usopp's direction.

Luffy looked over to the tiny thong in Usopp's hands and raised an eyebrow, he opened his mouth to speak but the sniper cut him off.

"It's a thong Luffy, you know, skimpy underwear for girls." Usopp explained pre-empting the question that he was sure to come.

"I know that," Luffy said rolling his eyes at Usopp, "it's Nami's." He said plucking it from Usopp's grasp and twirling it about his index finger as he walked out of the room, as he passed Sanji he let the teeny thong fly off of his finger to lay neatly on the top of Nami's clothing pile in Sanji's arms.

"Come on, FOOOD." Luffy said over his shoulder as he left the small laundry room.

There was a second or two of absolute silence, Sanji stood pale faced doing a good impression of a fish with his jaw opening and shutting like that.

"Wow." Usopp finally said wide eyed.

"Please tell me there's a nametag in there or something." Sanji said quietly in a voice that sounded like he was ill.

"You think there's enough material in that thing to sew a nametag on in that?" Zoro snorted.

"Hah, the nametag would probably be bigger." Usopp chuckled.

"No, no, no. Nami-swan would never-" Sanji growled, his face turning an interesting shade of purple.

"Oh I don't know, he seemed pretty experienced at flinging Nami's underwear across the room." Zoro grinned at the cook who made a pained whimpering noise at that idea.

"I suppose he's the only person who could _survive_ Nami." Usopp mused as he walked out of the room with a cackling Zoro behind him who was quietly followed by a confused looking Chopper.

"Nami-swan." Sanji whimpered.


End file.
